I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
