Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
