you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
handjob tips. give me some.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
