He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
