my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
