Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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