I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
