god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize