And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
