I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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