she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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