You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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