I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
