I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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