the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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