HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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