I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
