Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We got so high we made milksteak
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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