the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
