I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
