sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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