Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
