...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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