Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
tell me about the eggs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize