She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
