i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
