we're chasing vodka with high fives
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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