My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
