if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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