i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
