you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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