Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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