I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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