so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
