I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
