Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
