Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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