Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
