Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
