belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
