I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
