No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
