then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
All the doctor said was why
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
