that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
