He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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