her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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