just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
