Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
