Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
