He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
