I must be too annoying 4 u.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
