Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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