I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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