are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
