i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
