just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
