so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
