2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
