We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
