I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
