I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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