I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
