I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize