Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
