Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
