she woke up with a sticky ear
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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